Do they ever work? Seriously. Ever?
I don't understand why they are showing up in all public places. Establishments are actually choosing to replace normal flush toilets with toilets that begin to flush two seconds after you start to pee. And then after you actually finish and want to make the toilet flush again, despite frantic waving hand gestures, the "seeing eye thing" pretends it is suddenly blind.
Does this make anyone else's head hurt?
So I know I've been really slow on writing my fantasies. My problem is that there are several fantasies I have that I really want to come true and could potentially, so I'm not sure that really qualifies them as a fantasies and don't want to jinx myself by calling them a fantasy in case that could some how make them not happen. I'm insane, I know.
But while lying in bed last night, flipping from side to side, not being able to fall asleep, I thought of a fantasy that I have had in the past.
I think it would be really cool to raft down the Mississippi. Like Huck Finn. Of course, it would be completely impractical to build myself a raft out of logs, tying them together with rope. And although I've not seen much of the Mississippi outside of Minnesota, I'm guessing there are some rough parts that would not be too kind to a little raft. Not to mention the problem that a raft might have with the waterfall and several lock and dams. Also, how much respect to you think a barge is going to give me?
But how cool would it be to float all the way down the river, starting up at Lake Itasca and making my way through the Twin Cities, St. Louis, Memphis and New Orleans, all 2320 miles. I'd construct some sort of makeshift sail and have a cooler full of water, diet coke and food. I would camp on the shores of the river and stock up on provisions in the little towns that most assuredly line the river. I'd wear sunscreen. And I take pictures. Lots of them.
According to the Wikipedia article on the Mississippi, the retention time from start to finish is 90 days. I'm assuming that is how long it takes the same drop of water to travel the length of the river. So, for me it would probably take longer, since I wouldn't be sleeping on the water, I would guess four months or so. But I just read that I guy swam it in 68 days, so who knows.
What I really desire is to be in the middle of the river, down where the river is so wide that just thinking about swimming across makes your tired, at twilight, far from any big cities. I want to lay down on my raft and stare at the sky and watch as the stars appear one by one. I want to see just how large the world is and how small my troubles really are. I look forward to the sound of the lapping water, crickets chirping in the distance and to the peace that I think laying there will bring me.
As a lover of all things sweet, I feel it is my personal duty to pass along notice that this Sunday is National Ice Cream Day. I urge all of you to get out and enjoy some deliciousness, whether it be Peppermint Bon Bon or Mint Chocolate Chip, Cookies and Cream or Cake Batter Fudge, Zanzibar Chocolate or Old Fashioned Vanilla. I feel this is something we all must do as residents of this nation.
I plan to be celebrating this holiday at Sweet Occasions. However, Cold Stone Creamery, Sebastian Joe's or Dairy Queen would work just as well. I'd suggest the Birthday Cake Remix, Chocolate Oreo and Peanut Butter Cup Blizzards, respectively.
But please tell me what you would get!
So I've been gone. Now I'm back. We were in Florida for the fourth and it was lovely as usual.
Some fairly non-exciting things have occurred since I've been gone, including, our basement flooding, our dishwasher being recalled and the continued presence of mice poop but no sightings of actual mice.
I think we have all those things taken care of for the most part, although cleaning out the basement did force us to throw out a lot of soggy items including a bunch of pictures, which was depressing.
I dreamt about rattlesnakes and a really large spider, a tarantula perhaps, last night. What's up with that?
My love of tennis has returned. Ok, not that it ever really disappeared, it's just that I never got myself out to play and when I did I would only feel depressed because I knew I used to be a much better player than I currently am. Perhaps Wimbledon provided the spark that got me back out on the court again. I was enthralled with the Nadal/Federer match. Drew and I had a great time playing the other night and there were even glimpses of my former self.
The heat has passed. As it has been all over the country, Chicago had been suffering a major heat wave. But it passed over night and now I'm sitting on the deck in glorious 70 degree sunny, non-humid weather. Me likes.
Caper is sweet. I think he is getting sweeter and calmer by the day. I still worry about the day when we have kids and he barks his high-pitched bark and makes me want to strangle him for waking them. But I will continue to hope that as he ages his voice becomes more mellow and he realizes the mail woman is really not worth the bark.
And that's all that I've got.
I appreciate the taste of sweetness that a fortune cookie gives you after a salty Chinese meal.
However, more and more I've become frustrated by the lack of fortunes within. Instead of providing you with a prediction of what the future might hold, it tells you about some personality trait that you have or something else equally stupid, whether it's true or not.
